You may wonder what is it that’s suddenly made me jump from fitness and wellness to this topic! But understand that fitness reallllly does start with a mother (yep, I do think of my ma when I say it) who is just aware. Sorted. Powerful beyond measure. It comes with a whole ecosystem of love and support and you come up as a confident individual, boy or girl even before you know it.
It starts with the environment. Most men don’t understand how to allow a woman to guide them while most women seem to be confused or scared to tell a man what to do.
It seems to me that the society has strangely accepted women to not express themselves the way they would like to and men to feel small if they are not showing off themselves as the “heads.” We have reached a state where feminine power over the masculine has become a taboo.
Most people misunderstand women who “know their agenda” as something unusual- alien, weird, to the extent of calling it unnatural. It is a fact that women live in a man’s world today and even though most people dismiss it by saying that the world has changed, modernized and women are free to do what they want, when the time comes to support that view, mostly it’s all pretty messed up.
I understand that in this life I will forever have to carry my knife and pepper spray, a protective guard dog while even going out for my daily walks… But it only means one thing. Society is crystal clear about men misusing their physical strength. While there is little to no understanding of how a woman should or shouldn’t use her female power. It is never really talked about.
I understand that it’s not all men, that my father and brother would always protect me and what not but that is besides the point. First you will be at their mercy and then at your husband and his family’s mercy. THAT is the problem. The problem isn’t that there are a “few” harmless snakes in a pit of venomous snakes. Does that make it easier to understand the situation of most women? Why do I always need a protector when I’m not living in caves.
As a fitness professional, I am obviously expected to be strong and strength comes with a glow!
I cannot remember how many time I’ve been suggested to move out to a “better” country, a “better place” where I won’t look “rebellious” by doing what I want, following a profession that women find it hard to pursue here because you are constantly being judged. But little do they know that no matter which country I may move to do my career, I will face the exact same problems. Nothing different.
Nothing is going to magically change. But the one thing I can do is really look into my strengths, learn to talk politely about my needs, steer clear of baseless talk about compromising something of my dreams because I’m a girl. I found a simple analogy, consider the richness of a relationship between the rider and the horse. Men may be physically stronger than women, so are horses. When a horse is broken in, even a young girl can ride and decide what they do, where they’d go and how she’d like to get there. Crucially, even though the horse is doing the physical work, it remains a willing and grateful participant in the relationship. Perhaps, that is why so many young women love riding, I am not an exception, a sort of practice for dealing with men, bigger beasts. The thing that many women don’t seem to realize is that men positively like being steered and encouraged in ways that would offend many women. A large part of a man’s attention, focus and energy can be harnessed and directed in much the same way. Most of all, rather than feeling compromised, he’ll appreciate the clarity, feel useful and proud to be of service. Men and women don’t seem very different in many way… but then, they also are.
If you want to do a lot of things, you need to deal with a lot of different men, women. From intellectuals to daily wage workers and everything in the middle. To make this whole tandem work, I think it’ll be nice to drop judgements about how somebody should be.
Above all, don’t wobble. Stay putt!
